Tale of the Tape Week 3:City of Big Women..And Onions!

[Seattlehawk94]

TOTT doesn't like to lose....Last week the team from Gay Bay injured both Matthew Hasselbeck's rib and TOTT's pride..

This week we both look to rebound against that team that once recorded possibly the worst rap "song" in the history of rap "music".

TOTT has put Chicago into the hopper and here is what came out..

Population:
Seattle: 3,344,813 (14th)
Chicagoland: 9,750,000 (3rd)

Winner: Chicago, though they claim to be the "Second City" they are third in population...Maybe a nickname chance is in order?

Name:
Seattle: Named after a local Duwamish chief named Sealth. His grave on Bainbridge Island looks at his namesake city.
Chicago: French word "shikaakwa" means "Wild Onion".

Winner: Seattle, lmao....You really named your city after an onion?

Nickname:
Seattle: Emerald City
Chicago: The Windy City, The City Of Big Shoulders

Winner: Seattle...We have wind too, and I don't want to meet any chicks with "big shoulders"...

Slang Name
Seattle: Seatown
Chicago: Chitown

Winner: Seattle, "Chitown" as we've learned means "Wild Onion Town"..

Sports Teams:
Seattle: Seahawks, Mariners, Sounders
Chicago: Bears, Bulls, White Sox, Cubs, Blackhawks, Fire

Winner: Chicago, but yet none are named after Walla Walla Sweets?

Sports Teams Lost:
Seattle: 2-Supersonics, Pilots
Chicago: 3 Cardinals (NFL, moved to StL and then Phoenix), Packers (NBA, moved to Baltimore became Bullets now Washington Wizards), Stags (NBA, folded)

Winner: Chicago, is losing the Bidweasel's really a "loss"?

Championships:
Seattle: 2-Mets won 1917 Stanley Cup, Supersonics won 1979 NBA FInals
Chicago: 24-Bulls Won 1991, 92, 93, 96(vs the Supes), 97, 98 NBA Finals, Bears won NFL Championships in 1921, 32, 33, 40, 41, 43, 46, 63 and Superbowl XX, Blackhawks won Stanley Cups in 1934, 38, 61, White Sox won World Series in 1906, 17, 2005, Cubs won World Series in 1907, 08, Fire Won MLS Cup in 1998

Winner: Chicago, creamed onions for everyone!

Notable Landmarks:
Seattle: Space Needle, San Juan Islands, Pioneer Square
Chicago: Sears Tower, Lake Michigan, Wrigley Field, Chicago River

Winner: Chicago, tallest building in USA and a ballpark full of half naked chicks getting drunk in the bleachers...

Beer:
Seattle: Pyramid, Redhook, Hale's Ales
Chicago: Old Style

Winner: Seattle...Old Style means it's cheap, and tastes like swill...

Cuisine:
Seattle: Seafood
Chicago: Deep Dish Pizza, Superdawg, Italian Beef, Kielbasa

Winner: Chicago, Al's Italian Beef a Superdawg and a deep dish pizza for desert...No wonder why the Superfans all died of Heart Attacks...But no onions?

People:
Seattle: Dyan Cannon, Dale Chihuly, Kenny G, Gary Larson
Chicago: Donald Rumsfeld, John Belushi, Jack Benny, Harrison Ford, Charlton Heston, Hugh Hefner, George Wendt, Al Capone


Winner: Chicago, Scarface and a guy who's 80 and bangs multiple 20 year olds at a time...Nuff said...

TV Shows Based in Area
Seattle: Grey's Anatomy, Frasier, Harry and the Hendersons
Chicago: ER, Chicago Hope, Due South

Winner: Chicago, was TOTT the only one who thought ER was pronounced "ERRR" and a show depicting the life of Helen Keller?

Songs:
Seattle: Seattle--Perry Como
Chicago: Chicago (Musical)

Winner: Seattle, the play "Seattle" at Sounders games...They play Showtunes at Gay Bars...

Head to Head:
Seattle: 7
Chicago: 3

Winner: Seattle....Monsters of the Midway my ass!

Team Origins:
Seattle: Expansion Team named in a contest
Chicago: Used to be named "Decatur Staleys" after a company in their former home of Decatur, Illinois. Changed named after a season of "Staleys" in Chicago to "Bears" to match those lovable pathetic losers the Cubs..

Winner: Seattle, who would want to associate with the Cubs anyways? Could've taken the name "Onions" would've fit better...

Most Famous Politician:
Seattle: Scoop Jackson
Chicago: Richard Daley

Winner: Seattle, vote early and often even if you are dead, eh Onionville?

Biggest Sports Scandal:
Seattle: Supersonics move to OKC
Chicago: Black Sox

Winner: Seattle...We didn't throw a World Series...LOL in the last 200 years of MLB combined in that town they've won 2..Could've used an extra eh?

Overall Winner: Seattle 9-8..Close match, TOTT is done for the week, there are only so many onion "jokes" a person can make...

Enjoy Week 3! GO HAWKS!!!

 

[bobflipaburger]

lol I didn't know kenny G was from seattle... Maybe we should start playing "I like the way you move" after touch downs...... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: oh man couldn't keep a straight face lol.

 

[Seattlehawk94]

LOL

We do have some lame fucking celebs I'm finding out as TOTT goes on...

 

[BearsFan31]

<sigh>
Where to begin?
<sigh>

Chicago is called the second city for a reason. Not because it claims to be the 2nd largest city...not because it claims to be the 2nd largest in area city, etc. It's called the Second City because it was basically rebuilt from scratch after the famous fire destroyed just about the entire city. http://chicago2016channel.com/2008/10/26/swedes-built-the-second-city/

Kudos on the onion knowledge...even most Chicago residents don't know that one.

Really? The Emerald City beats the Windy City or Big Shoulders? I doubt it very much. We'll see when our big shoulders gain 160 rushing yards next week against the bejeweled 'Hawks. I guess all I need to know is that you'd rather be named after jewelry than working people. 'Nuff said.

Scratch the Fire from the list of sports teams. Nobody cares.

Let's not call the San Juan Islands a notable landmark. If you asked people outside of Seattle where the San Juan Islands are....90% of them will say Puerto Rico.

Yes, you win the beer battle. At least you can get Alaskan Brewing company products in Seattle.

Wrong on the Songs. Ever hear of a guy named Frank Sinatra? "Chicago" and "My Kind of Town" are both about Chicago and Como couldn't even wash Sinatra's car.

Most famous politician = Daley? Are you forgetting who our current President is?

You can thank me later.

Bears 31
'Hawks 16

 

[Seattlehawk94]

Barry Hussein is from Kenya not Chicago...By way of Hawai'i....

I know about the "Second City"...It's a joke...Most people know it's about the fire but alot of people also think of it in terms of the importance of it to US history.

Emerald City doesn't have anything to do with "jewels" genius...It's the fact there are trees everywhere here...Flying into Seattle looks like landing in a forest....

Most people who would say "Puerto Rico" are uneducated and basically stupid...The San Juans are nationally known, most travel books list them as one of the top places to go in the USA.

 

[BearsFan31]

The jewels were also a joke. And I'm pretty sure the bums around the Pike Place market outnumber the trees in the area. The most impressive portion of Seattle's landscape is Mt. Rainier in the background, without any doubt. Then again, it's only visible on clear days...which is how many per year?

 

[SeaHawksHuddle]

I love the defend my city talk. lol

 

[HawksFan83]

lol it was only a matter of time before an idiot from SHIT-cago tries to come in here and ruffle OUR feathers! please fool, it takes alot more than your pathetic unexistant knowledge of our city and team to do anything.

Bring your little shuffle, and your puss ass cry baby QB to qwest, this will be fun to watch.

 

[Seattlehawk94]

The jewels were also a joke. And I'm pretty sure the bums around the Pike Place market outnumber the trees in the area. The most impressive portion of Seattle's landscape is Mt. Rainier in the background, without any doubt. Then again, it's only visible on clear days...which is how many per year?

Rain "smack"...LOL...I love it!

What's next?
A coffee jab?
Maybe something about Kurt Gobang and the wall behind him?
I know! Maybe a shot about covered wagons!
How about jokes about fish chuckers?

Yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnn.....My shit is original.....Your shit is tired and used up.....

Only good thing to come out of Chicago was that 2 second clip of Jennifer Aniston's (more like Anus-tons amirite?) ass in "The Break Up"...