The Joke Thread

[Pottsie]

Aging Aunt Louise was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.


Later that night........

Louise was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

 

[blotsfan]

^Thats a good one.
A man goes to see the doctor. After being in the waiting room for a while, he is sent to the examiners room. After waiting there some more, the doctor comes in. The doctor then takes a look at the patient. After he's done he says to the man "Sir, I'm afraid you will need to stop masturbating." The man asks "Why?" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

 

[Blue Demon]

The Corrections Dept. has been ordered to administer a new vaccine on female prisoners before they are released back into the general public.
The name of the vaccine? Tri-min-agin.